Oh wait, let me stress how poor. I have no money at all. My bank account is empty. Thank God it’s pay day. I’m about to lose two of my roommates, which means my rent will almost double at the end of the month. I can’t seem to find any roommates anywhere I look, except of course for creepy old men with which I wouldn’t feel comfortable living.

All of these credit cards are killing me. Even without the cards, the high cost of my student loans sucks me dry each month. Well, today I attempt to close down another store card. I’ve already cut it up…a Sears card. Who needs it? Not me. Now I have to call them up, most likely fight with someone tooth and nail to get the card canceled, and then hope, cross my fingers, it was actually canceled.

Every card I cancel is like a small weight lifted from my shoulders. If only I could cancel rent and student loans…

M.

But now, I’m getting charged for having these cards. It’s insufferable. I guess that’s another card I ought to cancel.

M.

Eh?

The bill was for a $50 purchase from a year ago. And because I hadn’t paid this $50 purchase, I had accrued $200 in late fees. Nice. The thing is, the purchase made a year ago was not me. How could it be? I’d closed that account two years ago, right?  So I called the company, and I said, “Hey, I’ve closed this account.” To which, they said, “Uh, we have no record of that.” No record??? I explicitly remember closing the account. I remember cutting up the card. I remember it! But they had no record, so the person I had closed the account with had obviously lied, didn’t close the account, b.s.

Then, I explain to them, well, there’s no way I used the card a year ago, it’s been cut up and dead for at least two years. The guy on the other end tells me this little fact: you don’t need the store card to make a purchase with the card; all you need is an account with the store, and then if you give them your name, they will charge the card. That seems illegal on soooooooo many levels. So, anyone can just walk into your store, pretend you’re me, and if they luck out and I have an account, they can charge to it? Wow, talk about consumer protection.

So they tell me my only recourse is to file a complaint, and they’ll study what I’ve said, and if it seems the card was misused, they will strike the bill from my account. So I write up my complaint, and I send it in. I get a call 30 days later. The person says I was two weeks late in filing my complaint. That because I was late, there was nothing I could do, so they were going to have to just charge me the $250 no matter what. Was this some kind of crazy scam? I sent them the complaint as soon as they told me about it. How is it my fault it took them 30 days to look at it instead of within two weeks? Do I have to personally go down there and order them to read my complaint on time?

At this point, I’m so fed up with this company. I tell them, look, you just lost a customer for life. Even though I didn’t use your card anymore, I still made regular purchases at your store. But now I won’t. Not ever again, and that’s a bigger loss than this $250. They didn’t care. Said it was $300 because another 30 days had gone by. I was going to scream. I contacted the Better Business Bureau, and I filed a complaint.

I wanted to warn others not to fall for this trap. After only a few days, a representative of the company called me. They apologized profusely. Oh, you didn’t need to contact the better business bureau. We could have worked this out. There was no need to do that. They removed the $300 bill I owed them. Then, they asked if they could do anything for me. I told them, close my damn account this time! And this time, they sent me confirmation the account was closed.

So, I guess the moral of the story is, cry and complain and tattle-tale, because it’s the only way these companies give a crap.

M.

It’s always MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!!! I hate it. Why can’t we live in a world without money? I’m so sick of worrying about it all of the time. I’m so sick of being in debt. I’m so sick of worrying about being in debt. I want a vacation from my life.

PLEASE!

M.

But then I realized that’s stupid. Why should I feel bad that they’re not going to take my money anymore? Why should I feel bad that I’m not going to pay their ridiculously high interest rates on this store card? It dawned on me that this was less like a bad prom date and more like liberation. It felt good. It felt like I was breaking out of prison or something, like I’d gained some small measure of my freedom back by denying this company my money. They don’t need it. They don’t deserve it. They make SOOOOOOOOO much money without me.

Now, here’s one trick I learned from closing credit accounts. Always make sure the account is actually closed. I’ve previously closed a couple small accounts, and after thinking the account was closed, I would later receive a balance statement in the mail, or I’d get an updated card. When you call these people, I think maybe they get in trouble if too many accounts are closed on their watch, so if begging and pleading with you to keep the account open doesn’t work, they’ll just lie and tell you they’ve closed the account when they haven’t. Ug. So I’ve gotten in the habit of always asking for written proof that my account is closed. Also, I’ll usually call back the company a day or two later and just ask, “Hey is my account closed?” I’m not taking any chances. There’s too much identity theft these days. Even if I’m not using the account, if it’s open, that provides someone else with the opportunity to use it. It’s like turning down that guy you can’t stand for prom, showing up to prom, and realizing you’re still with that guy.

Ok, enough with the prom metaphors. Is it a coincidence my high school reunion is coming up???

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Ug. It’s only Monday, and I’m already tired of this week.

M.

Ok, so I’m counting. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…12. My god. I have 12 credit cards. 1 is a bank card. Does that count? Probably. 3 are legitimate credit cards. One I have for frequent flyer miles (because I can afford to travel, lol). Two are just regular mastercard and visa. And the remaining 8 cards are all store cards. Store cards are the worst offenders: high interest rates, huge late fees. And they suck you in. You don’t really think it’s a credit card when you’re buying it, and you always get that huge discount when you open the card.

I can think of at least five of these cards where I was like, “Well, I don’t really want the card, but that 20% discount is tempting…I’ll just get the card for this one purchase and then…” but then nothing. I end up using the card all the time.

Ok, here’s my promise, every day from now until Christmas, I cut up one of these store cards. Why do I need 8 store cards? I don’t think I even have any money available on any of these cards. I think they’re all maxed out. I’m in a cold sweat just thinking about it.

So, today’s goal: cut up the Victoria’s Secret card, call up the company and cancel the card, sigh a huge sigh of relief. And then have myself a good cry.

M.